epiphany

You know, I could go on about how horrible this year's been for me : my grandfather died; my parents got divorced; my gf of 3 years broke up with me; and my grandmother is in the hospital -- but I won't. For awhile, what once was unbridled optimism on my part turned really sour. I've never really handled any of these problems properly -- always ignoring them and trying to forget them -- instead of dealing with them and exploring the cause of my pain and anguish. I know one of these days they'll come back to haunt me just like the ghosts of christmas haunted scrooge. I really should deal with them now but it would all be too overwhelming. For now they're out of my mind and out of my sight. I'll deal with them slowly as they resurface somewhere down the road.

Today I choose to move on with my life and to not look back with remorse or regret. I'm neither an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist. I've abandoned my faith in everything for the time being. Hopefully one day all that faith will be restored. You can call me a temporary nihilist for now. In fact, call me a temporary hedonistic nihilist. I will now follow simple rules: live life on the edge; expect nothing; regret nothing; and bring on the good times. If you ever see me at a club, say hi. I'll say hi back. Maybe we'll exchange numbers. Maybe I'll even call you. We won't make silly promises to each other. We'll just enjoy each other's company for as long as the fun lasts. It really is that simple.